Looking Beyond Atlanta...

Bedclothes twisted about him, his pillows having fallen off the bed, Grant wakes up with a start, sitting up hurriedly, his eyes wide in the darkness, heart hammering in his chest. The room is dark around him, save for the red glow of the clock on his desk, the door closed. Lifting a trembling hand to his face, he wipes at his forehead, his skin damp with sweat.

A nightmare...God, it felt so real...

Slowly, his heart rate slows, as does his somewhat erratic breathing. Bringing his knees up to his chest, he leans forward, resting his forearms on his knees, lifting a hand, raking it through his sweat-streaked hair. His dark eyes close, the trembling hand passing over his face.

He's had the dream before, imagined what might happen if he were to lose control again. It ends the same way every time, with him, alone, the city around him shattered, no sign of life visible anywhere. But this time was different. This time it wasn't just him and some faceless villain bludgeoning each other. This time, she was there, and he lost her - killed her.

The realization hits him hard, and for a moment, it feels as though all the wind has been knocked out his lungs. She was there, defenseless, injured, and he could do nothing for her, couldn't save her. It was just a dream...it was only a dream...

Perhaps. But he'd failed her. He'd lost her. And the tears that fall down his cheeks, landing softly on the sheet, are very real. The words are hushed, punctuated by soft sobs, but they are heartfelt and sincere. "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry, Mar'i..."

Presents have already been opened, and those Titans who possess some level of culinary skill have begun preparations for Christmas dinner. The gifts from fellow Titans had been fairly generic, unsurprising, considering how many of them there are. Gift certificates, money, and Christmas cards were the order of the day. Grant had kept his own list limited to a few select individuals, and Mar'i's gift had - thankfully - arrived at her door before she left for the Tower.

The two of them had sat together on one of the sofas in the common room, looking on as their compatriots opened their gifts. The fingers of his one hand intertwined with hers, Grant's free hand rested on the box in his lap. Mar'i had gotten him a new designer floor lamp for his room in the Tower, something that he desperately needed. Not only does it make the place feel more like home, it also means he doesn't have to use the overhead florescent lights in the room. Mar'i had gotten a kiss as thanks for the excellent gift - a real kiss, in front of the other Titans, no less.

Clean up has begun, and Grant went back to his room for a moment, carrying the cards and the new lamp, along with something he really hadn't expected - a large envelope with his name written on it in a feminine script that didn't belong to Mar'i. It was a document holder, with two wide pieces of cardboard keeping whatever was inside perfectly flat. In addition, it smelled like someone had sprayed perfume on it. He knew it wasn't from Donna and really doubted it was from Kory, so he's at a loss as to who could have sent it.

Grant sets the box on the floor near his bed, then puts the cards from his fellow Titans on his desk. The large envelope is set on his bed and he considers the seemingly innocuous thing for a moment - should he open it now, or wait till later? Stretching, Grant turns his head, hearing movement in the hallway.

There is a muffled rattle as something passes over the microphone, followed by a dull thump.

Is this thing on? Hm...why doesn't Vic ever include instructions for the stuff he makes?

I haven't done this in a while, but I should probably start getting back into the habit again. The doctor said it was better to get these things down on paper - or in a voice record - than just carrying them around.

Wow, where to start? Ten days since I've been back and I've been keeping pretty busy. Kory and Donna keep reminding me that the Titans are a family, that I still have a place with them. The longer I stay here, the more I believe it...and the more I regret staying away for so long. But, nothing can change that, so I've got to take advantage of the time I have now, I guess. There are a lot of new faces here, and that's taking some getting used to, but everyone has been really helpful while I've been settling into the Tower. Which reminds me - I need to make sure to give Bette her iSnap back!

That first exercise with Starfire went pretty badly. It's only been a few days since she put me square on my ass in the gym, but the exercise with Donna went much better. Can't believe I forgot how fast she is! It's pretty obvious that I still have a lot of catching up to do, but I could really feel myself starting to settle into a groove toward the end...well, until she caught me with that leg sweep. I'm just glad no one else was around to see that...There is a brief pause in the recording.

We had a good talk afterward, I think. Talked about all sorts of things - Newark, the Justice Society, Hippolyta...Nightstar. Mar'i's absolutely gorgeous and she's really easy to talk to. I'm glad I got to ask Donna about her - she gave me a really good idea for a first date and told me a little more about her. Donna was kind of vague, but it sounds like Mar'i's been through a lot of heavy stuff. I need to go shopping soon if I'm going to pull off this first date thing.

Well, I'm going to go grab ice for my hand. Increased durability or not, landing a punch on Donna is like slamming your first into a brick wall...well...that's a bad example. Anyway, that's all for now.

There is some shuffling in the background, followed by a small click and the recording ends.